Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize