Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
