U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
