I think I died a long time ago.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
