This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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