I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
