Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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