New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
How does it feel to date your dad?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize