I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
it glows. i had to have it.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
