office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
