wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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