It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
