Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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