So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
