Umm I'm too high to move.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Found your dick twin last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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