I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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