Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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