Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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