May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
