You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
