Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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