I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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