the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
