Why does Corona taste like a burp?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
