In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
