What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
