Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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