haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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