All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
