your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
