I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
