Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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