I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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