She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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