I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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