just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
