i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
