So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
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