i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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