Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
