Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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