My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
