Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
