I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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