I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
