I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
