I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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