The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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