He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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