i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize