During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
