I'm pants shitting drunk right now
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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