Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
