woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
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did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
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