i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize
