is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
