god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
