im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
